Hate to Lose & Out of Luck

Anti-Chelsea jabronis would be extremely delirious with last night’s results. Since the season started they had hoped that Chelsea will suffer a blip so that they can stop stuffing sour-grapes up each other’s asses and laugh at our predicament, beaming with pride to have “foreseen” a blip which supposedly happens to every club at every level. A horrendous 1-0 away defeat at St James’ Park knocked us out of the FA Cup competition completely although we dominated the entire game, despite going 1 goal down early in the game and making numerous changes to the starting lineup. Here’s why I feel that our luck has indeed run out:

• Drogba, Robben, Parker and Huth are injured in this very crucial February period
• Our totally atrocious schedule ensures our players aren’t getting enough rest
• After Kluivert scored, it miraculously started to rain snow on the pitch making everyone wet, cold and difficult to control the ball
• Kezman strikes the post again. Why am I not surprised? Oh maybe it is because this has been the HUNDREDTH FUCKING TIME ALREADY this season.
• After half time when all 3 subs were introduced, Bridge was injured badly and was sent to a nearby hospital. 10 able men left on the pitch
• At this moment the snow had stopped as miraculously as it came.
• Duff got injured during the game. He hobbles around. 9 able men left on the pitch
• Gallas got injured as he clutchesd his belly. 8 able men on the pitch
• Cudicini was sent off for bringing down Amoebi. 7 able men on the pitch (Glen Johnson took over, which I found extremely amusing. Performed a great save too. For the record Martin Tyler said that the referee Mark Halsey made a bad call) He will not be participating in the Carling Cup final as promised due to suspension. Is there anyone more unlucky than him? (Except Kezman)

I believe if God really exists, he has once again proven to me what a large pool of stinking moose piss he really is. I hope our defeat made you laugh and you had your fun playing with the climate you sick son of a bitch. However if he is really innocent, then I must apologise sincerely as the only other rational explanation would be that David Blaine must have been in the stands somewhere wearing a “Souness’ Ass is Sweet” t-shirt performing some voodoo.

Besides blaming tight schedules, injuries, bad luck and crazy weather-altering ETs for our defeat, we have to bear some of the responsibility. Jarosik was running around like a clueless and headless chicken, totally lacking of ideas and contributing little to our cause. Geremi has great upper body strength and technique but he lacks match practice. At this stage we need him more than ever with all the injuries coming in. Johnson was prone to mistakes though he is still a tough son of a gun. The Rob X’s Chelsea player of the day goes to Ricardo Carvalho for an outstanding performance throughout the game, as he held and marshalled the back line very well.

Alas, no amount of whining and finger pointing (involving the index or the middle) can help much other than fuel the fire in me to further curse at that faggot Souness, the referee, God and Jarosik. We must continue to work hard and overcome the biggest opponents yet this season, Barcelona, in a few days’ time.