Carling Cup triumph

Despite a nervous 80 minutes, Steven Gerrard has scored on behalf of his future club and brought Chelsea back into the game. I was more frustrated than excited for the first half as Jarosik was more effective making a fool of himself, losing possession constantly and producing amazingly wayward passes that even an S-League player would be ashamed of. Maybe the tactic was to bring in fresh players at half time against a tiring Liverpool side so he was just there to make up 11 players. Which worked as we rampaged the Reds for the entire 2nd half and pressured them to score an own goal. Maybe Gerrard already has intensions to be a Blue, or we have already started paying him wages. Either ways he knows that his current Liverpool side will not win him any trophies, especially not a Champions League trophy. Only a true winning team like Chelsea who employs Kurt Angle’s Intensity, Integrity and Intelligence to football will win games and be champions. Its true its true. Morientes will not stay a Red for long as well. So Gerrard better start considering his future carefully and start looking for a new agent.

Also a special mention goes out to Kezman who scored the winning goal. It has been long overdue and there’s no better place to score than at a cup final. He should get the nod to start next week against Norwich. From this game, despite being sent off from the bench, we can tell for a fact that Mourinho is indeed a football genius.

1 trophy in the bag, 2 more to go. Come on you Blues.

Far From Over

We have got to start learning to play with 10 men or less. After our FA Cup defeat at Newcastle it just sucks monkey balls to be down to 10 men again at Nou Camp. Luck this time played no part in the game. The referee just sucks.. although Drogba shouldn’t have challenged the keeper for the ball. I felt the referee was picking on Drogba as he was constantly being warned for small fouls. His first yellow was for a harmless tackle which really was not a big deal. If that is bookable, then Deco’s Olympic-worthy dive just in front of the referee should warrant a yellow card as well. A big match like this deserves a good referee, whose decisions should at least be consistent. This only consistent thing this referee did was to keep picking on Drogba.

Our game plan was to soak up the pressure and hit them on the counter attack. We started off rather jittery, with Cech clearing to the sidelines many times and our defenders mesmerized by Barcelona’s attack. But once we’ve settled down things seemed pretty ok and we held up very well. To be realistic, a 2-1 loss is a great result. A precious away goal is crucial for the 2nd leg and playing at Stamford Bridge will definitely be an advantage. And Barcelona didn’t score that many goals to erase all hopes of a comeback. We still have a fighting chance. My only worry is that: can the players bounce back from 2 defeats in a row to fight for our 1st trophy at Cardiff on Sunday. The winning mentality will inevitably be non-existent with morale at an all time low since the season started. And with so many injuries and key players suspended, it would be a difficult task to win over a buoyant Liverpool side which just won 3-1 against Bayern Leverkusen.

Many people would love to see Chelsea fall, especially now that we’ve lost 2 in a row. They would be mocking our defeat. They will say we lack class, we are not as good as we think we are, we don’t have what it takes to win in Europe.. and other monkey crap they can think of to boost their own faggot ego. There is absolutely no shame in losing to a world class team like Barcelona. It is far from over and we will fight till the end and conjure a great comeback in the 2nd leg. But before that, winning the Carling Cup this Sunday will definitely boost our own morale and team spirit ahead of the game at Norwich and the return Champions League leg. Come on you Blues!

Hate to Lose & Out of Luck

Anti-Chelsea jabronis would be extremely delirious with last night’s results. Since the season started they had hoped that Chelsea will suffer a blip so that they can stop stuffing sour-grapes up each other’s asses and laugh at our predicament, beaming with pride to have “foreseen” a blip which supposedly happens to every club at every level. A horrendous 1-0 away defeat at St James’ Park knocked us out of the FA Cup competition completely although we dominated the entire game, despite going 1 goal down early in the game and making numerous changes to the starting lineup. Here’s why I feel that our luck has indeed run out:

• Drogba, Robben, Parker and Huth are injured in this very crucial February period
• Our totally atrocious schedule ensures our players aren’t getting enough rest
• After Kluivert scored, it miraculously started to rain snow on the pitch making everyone wet, cold and difficult to control the ball
• Kezman strikes the post again. Why am I not surprised? Oh maybe it is because this has been the HUNDREDTH FUCKING TIME ALREADY this season.
• After half time when all 3 subs were introduced, Bridge was injured badly and was sent to a nearby hospital. 10 able men left on the pitch
• At this moment the snow had stopped as miraculously as it came.
• Duff got injured during the game. He hobbles around. 9 able men left on the pitch
• Gallas got injured as he clutchesd his belly. 8 able men on the pitch
• Cudicini was sent off for bringing down Amoebi. 7 able men on the pitch (Glen Johnson took over, which I found extremely amusing. Performed a great save too. For the record Martin Tyler said that the referee Mark Halsey made a bad call) He will not be participating in the Carling Cup final as promised due to suspension. Is there anyone more unlucky than him? (Except Kezman)

I believe if God really exists, he has once again proven to me what a large pool of stinking moose piss he really is. I hope our defeat made you laugh and you had your fun playing with the climate you sick son of a bitch. However if he is really innocent, then I must apologise sincerely as the only other rational explanation would be that David Blaine must have been in the stands somewhere wearing a “Souness’ Ass is Sweet” t-shirt performing some voodoo.

Besides blaming tight schedules, injuries, bad luck and crazy weather-altering ETs for our defeat, we have to bear some of the responsibility. Jarosik was running around like a clueless and headless chicken, totally lacking of ideas and contributing little to our cause. Geremi has great upper body strength and technique but he lacks match practice. At this stage we need him more than ever with all the injuries coming in. Johnson was prone to mistakes though he is still a tough son of a gun. The Rob X’s Chelsea player of the day goes to Ricardo Carvalho for an outstanding performance throughout the game, as he held and marshalled the back line very well.

Alas, no amount of whining and finger pointing (involving the index or the middle) can help much other than fuel the fire in me to further curse at that faggot Souness, the referee, God and Jarosik. We must continue to work hard and overcome the biggest opponents yet this season, Barcelona, in a few days’ time.

Firing Blanks

Without Drogba and Kezman, our striking options are indeed limited. We had no choice but to play Gudjohnson solo upfront. Against a 10-man Everton side, we were running riot in their half and unleashing more shots at Nigel Martyn than a trigger-happy AK47-totting terrorist. However no one could put the ball into the back of the net and most of the efforts were painfully wide. Duff has scored many goals, but he cannot shoot the ball like a striker. Tiago launched 3 of his 4 efforts sky-high like a rugby player. Lampard was seriously off-target and not his usual self. Perhaps he lacks practice as he has been playing very deeply inside our own half for several games already. Makelele’s shooting is wayward and playing a defensive midfield role ensures he doesn’t have many chances at goal. So the bulk of the responsibility lies with Gudjohnson and Cole who could provide a decent strike which is on target at the very least. Our only free-scoring midfielder Robben is out, so the next best option would be Smertin and a below-par Lampard.

Against 10 men, we should be at least 1-0 up before half time. It was disappointing not to have scored more but ultimately the 3 points are in the bag and a break from the domestic league is a welcomed relief. Drogba and Kezman must get fit for the next 3 vital matches for the other 3 trophies else if our misfiring midfielders do not buck up and Gudjohnson still plays the lone striker role, we could suffer a major setback in our chase for all 4 titles due to the lack of fire power up front. Also Forssell should get back to fitness asap too as he can feature in the FA Cup in the later stages as well to boost our striking options.

Last but of course not least, to add to my 3 cents worth of post-match gripes, I would like to talk about James Beattie. It was a blatant head butt on Gallas but he says that he is as innocent as Michael Jackson. Even his Moyes does not want to cover his ass because it was a straight red-card offence. Moyes knows it, Mourinho knows it, the world knows it, but he claims he was running with his head down, and for what? Inspecting his mini floppy dick for herpes from the previous night’s orgy with 2 gay midgets and 1 German Shepard? Or counting the hair on his balls to check on his own puberty progress? The Rock says: Ban the jabroni for 3 matches with a huge fine.. and Everton should fine him 4 weeks wages to put him in his place.

Support Kezman.

Quadruple Dreams

Why can’t David James be consistently poor? He kept out everything that was thrown at him. A goalless draw sucks, especially in front of a home crowd. Luck was definitely not on our side when somehow David James kept out a clear shot from Lampard in the dying seconds. Now we are reduced to being 9 points clear. For me it is 2 points lost because winning every game matters.. and I echo the thoughts of Jose: The final score line does not do justice to us at all. During the 1st half we had balls cleared miraculously off the line and continued our assault on City’s goal throughout the 2nd half. Firing blanks? Maybe. But I do not agree that without Robben we could not create chances and attack fluidly. Gudjohnson and Kezman, though disappointing, had some chances to knock some goals in. The introduction of Tiago was a very good one. We needed another midfielder to counter the crowded midfield formation Kevin Keegan presented. Jarosik can win headers but was rather ineffective, and he should remain a substitute till he is more comfortable with the English game. Smertin would have been a better choice. After this game I believe if we need to play a lone striker with 2 wingers, we should use Kezman. If a 4-4-2 striking partnership is required, Gudjohnson and Drogba should be employed. That’s my 2 cents worth.

What are our chances of sweeping all 4 trophies? Let’s be realistic and measure our chances. After February our questions would be all answered. In chronological order:

Premiership
Feb 12 Everton v Chelsea

FA Cup
Feb 20 Newcastle v Chelsea

UEFA Champions League
Feb 23 Barcelona v Chelsea

Carling Cup Final
Feb 27 Liverpool v Chelsea

All the next 4 fixtures are away games and represent all 4 trophies we are gunning for. The away tie at Goodison Park could prove very tough. If we were to win it, it will be a huge confidence boost ahead of our FA Cup tie with Newcastle.. which in my opinion we should win, but Jose might play for a draw to focus more on the away tie at Nou Camp 3 days later. The away game against Barcelona will probably be the toughest fixture for us yet this season. Realistically a 1-1 draw will suffice but being the home team in the 2nd leg would always put extra pressure on us to prevent any away goals scored by Barcelona. Therefore playing a more attacking formation in the 1st leg would be ideal. The Carling Cup against Liverpool is not an easy one as they have found their scoring form recently and would make it tough on us after a hectic February period. Our players would by then be worn out and if we were to do badly at Nou Camp, overall confidence might be affected.

Therefore against Everton we should put out a team similar to the one against Man City. We could then reserve our strongest side to thump Newcastle out of the FA Cup, thus increasing our confidence and self-belief against Barcelona. If we win at Nou Camp, we are invincible, so bring on Liverpool. If we lose at Nou Camp, our silverware-hungry players would give it their all against Liverpool to claim our first trophy of the season. So in conclusion the key moment in February would be our performance against Newcastle. My prediction is that by season–end we will win 3 trophies: the Premiership title, FA Cup and the Carling Cup.

Poor Refereeing & Other Musings

Man U did the impossible and turned the tables on Arsenal by clawing back a 4-2 victory with only 10 men. So Chelsea had to win at Ewood Park to maintain our points difference.

What did I think of the game? If we had one strawberry for every poor referee decision, we would be drinking a lot of smoothies right now. Robben scored our only early goal, but was forced out of the game due to an injury inflicted by Blackburn’s Mokoena and we were not even awarded a free kick. Savage (there’s a reason why he is thus named) committed numerous fouls (including a dangerous swipe from behind on Duff) and received not even a single yellow card. Paul Dickov twice went in late on Petr Cech, and had a boot in Cech’s ribs in the process, got away scot-free. And the referee Uriah Rennie totally made an ass of himself allowing foul after foul to be commited without a booking. I’ve not felt so fucking incensed by a referee’s poor performance since Graham Poll allowed Henry a quick free kick. His standard was appalling for a premiership referee and he had just made it into my black book of "Referees Who Suck" together with Graham Poll and Jeff Winters.

Perhaps Rover’s tactics were to go out and hurt our players since they’ve already conceded an early goal and try to ruffle our feathers. It worked and Chelsea played, in my opinion, one of the most disorganized and unsettling game. I couldn’t believe Joe Cole was substituting Robben where Kezman would have made a bigger impact. We could play 4-4-2 and pressure a Blackburn side which, other than bullish behaviour, had loopholes all over their defence which was not exploited at all. Playing Gudjohnson alone upfront will not see us scoring anymore as the midfield was overrun by players from both sides and delivery into the box was non-existent. Possession was given away cheaply in our own half and since the replacement was made very early in the game I felt we did not need to sit back and protect the lead but instead go for more goals. It was no surprise that the inefficient Cole was later replaced by Jarosik. Other than Cech who superbly saved a penalty and ensured us 3 points, the 2 other players who worked extremely hard and well were Tiago and Lampard. Throughout the game Tiago had suffered numerous tackles for the team. Lampard played rather deep into our own defence to cut out the Rover’s attacks and release long balls to the front. This is one excellent example of what I meant in previous posts about over-reliance on Duff and Robben. Once our delivery from the wingers are cut out, our attack would be stagnant. Without Robben Chelsea was totally lacking of ideas upfront and we were indeed lucky to get all 3 points.


P.S. The above is an edited version to fully comply with my M18 rating. After numerous serious vetting, the following content had been snipped from the original version:

- vulgarities in at least 3 different languages
- mad rantings about opposing team's dirty tactics
- explicit references to Mark Hughe's penis
- 3 racist slurs targetted at the referee
- insults of the maternal kind regarding the female genitalia
- 10 immature and funny names that can be derived from the word "Dickov"

Peace.

FA Cup Update

A comfortable 2-0 win over the weekend against a weak Birmingham side booked us a place in the 5th round of the FA Cup. 8 changes were made to the starting lineup and I was pleasantly surprised to see how fluid things went for the first half. I couldn’t really pay attention to the match though due to a splitting headache spanning my right eyebrow to the back of my head. The entire right half of my brain was numb so it only allowed my concentration level to be at about 40%. My only disappointment was Kezman being replaced after 60 minutes. He deserves more playing time to score some goals and boost his confidence. Playing a lone striker and introducing Drogba later on in the game shows Jose’s intention of playing more defensively but I feel Kezman can do the same job just as well. With his pace he can chase long balls and weave his own magic in the opponent’s half. He looked very dejected coming off and I truly feel for him.

This is my two-cents worth: Starting in a 4-4-2 formation with Eidur and Kezman upfront is a refreshing change (my preferred formation for Chelsea if we want our strikers to score more goals) as the wingers are not so heavily relied upon to provide delivery into the box. It also puts more pressure on the opponent’s defence. The Robben-Duff combo will be ineffective once opponents close them down fast and with only one striker upfront we might find it difficult to score more. If one winger is out injured, reverting back to the usual 4-4-2 may seem alien to the team that is so accustomed to the previous formation.

Watching Man U and Arsenal square off tonight would be a pleasure. A win either way will render one team out of the title race, although a draw would be ideal to crush both their collective confidence and egos. Hahaha… I’m so cocky and I’ve every right to be. Winners get boasting rights by default and losers just stick to playing their immature mind games. Our Blackburn away game will be a breeze so hopefully we would see more of Kezman.